Saturday, January 23, 2010

A question about rape

What would you do if you knew your estranged sister who had always been mean to you, was marrying a man who had raped you 13 years previously?

I'm busy doing some research for my next book, having finally completed the final proof edit of The Case of Billy B. If you feel you can answer this question, please do so. What would you do? Would you tell her? Would you tell your family? Would you tell your friends? Your sister wants you to forgive her for all the mean things she did to you while growing up. Will you forgive her and then tell her? Would you just keep it a secret? All input much appreciated.
 The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-By-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault


  1. I would think it depends on where you are in dealing with the consequences of your own rape. There would be a great deal of resentment,animosity and a plethora of other aspects that you would have to confront within yourself first.
    This by no means negates the prospective danger awaiting your half sister. But it will impact directly on HOW you will tell her and also how your family may react to the news of your own ordeal. In the final analysis, I would tell my sister because at the end of the day, she is family and would be heading for a disastrous relationship.

  2. I was raped by my stepfather at 13. My mother divorced him (she never let me forget it was my fault she had to divorce him) My dilemma was when and how to tell my two little brothers (his kids)..well one brother was murdered and the other one found out because my daughter told his girlfriend..I should have told him myself! Your sister may not believe you or accuse you of ruining her happiness but I feel you should tell her and let the fallout fall..

  3. Thanks for the advice! My latest book, Not Telling, deals with this exact same issue! Interesting, most people I've surveyed have been of the opinion the sister should tell.